Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Lost poetry...

Can't help it. Still awake at these ungodly hours... Waiting for someone to come back online? hahahaha! Or maybe because of me downloading mood. Been downloading songs for the past hours. And found a song that really really fits my mood. Been looking for it since I first heard it last year. Ah well.

You are here alone again
In your sweet insanity
All too calm, you hide yourself from reality
Do you call it solitude? Do you call it liberty?
When all the world turns away to leave you lonely

The fields are filled with desires
All voices crying for freedom
But all in vain they will fade away
There's only you to answer you, forever

In blinded mind you are singing
A glorious hallelujah
The distant flutter of angels
They're all too far, too far to reach for you

I am here alone again
In my sweet serenity
Hoping you will never find me in any place
I will call it solitude when all my songs fade in vain
In my voice, far away to eternity

02:36a.m
-------------------------

A poem I wrote many years ago... I thought I lost it. Being hidden somewhere in the clutter of files in my hard disk. Been telling myself to get it organized, but always never get myself to do it. Wonder where else did my collection of poetry went... hm...

An act of kindness
a gesture of fondness
you brought me wholeness
and lit up my darkness

Though we barely knew
our friendship still new
but into my life you flew
and my life's chapter begins anew

Its hard to explain
yet alone entertain
as the memories still remain
but my sanity I'm sure to maintain

you taught me that no one is perfect
and to treat life with more respect
how to handle for each regret
and how to view with each reflect

I can never thank you enough since then
for being there when I need a friend
I hope one day this wait will end
when we can finally grasp each others hand.


12:56 a.m.-- --

Tuesday, March 2, 2004

A circle closed

Some recent things that happened kept me wondering about Fate, how it tends to manifest itself in the strangest and most unexpected ways. I got a visit from my past of almost 11 years ago, back in the days of me spending my Form 1 in boarding school. Would my life be different now had I stayed there for the rest of the 5 years of study?

I got to know someone quite recently who seemed like a person that has quite a many tales to share and learn. Indeed we got along quite well and have been trading a few long e-mails. In one of them, he told me that he used to study in this boarding school up north, and was going on explaining the school's background to me like it's some forgotten history while I read the e-mail wide eyed. It was like... freaky. And so I decided to teased him a bit by talking to him in a few terms known only to the students of that school. And true enough, he was speechless.

That little news brought out into the open, more stories were traded, and another shocking discovery was made. During my time there at the school, I remembered being visited by one of my seniors who had graduated from the school and was studying in Uni. He came back to give motivational talks and inspire the rest of us newbies what it meant to be part of the school. It never left an impression on me, but I never did forget too. And I left the school after 8 months of being there. He told me that he remembered me as the kid who finally left after 8 months of study and he was sad that he couldn't do much to make me stay And was even more upset that for some unexpected reason, the yearly First Former magazine of my batch didn't get published, thus any evidence of me being part of the school was slowly forgotten. I left the school never to return. Not even to keep in touch with my batch mates, or even to get involved in any reunions, even though I am considered to be an 'Old Boys'.

And there we were, 11 years later, talking about it. How things could have been if we had talked like we were now back then. And why did it had to happen now, is another part of the question too. I always did thought about going back to visit the school grounds at least, all these years. To sort of... come to terms with it. But never did I expect to meet the person whom in so many ways, represents what the school is all about. The person whom, had I listened and was moved by his speeches back then, would probably made me a different person than I am now.

I may never know...

01:11 p.m.-- --

Saturday, February 28, 2004

Strange Paradise... part 1

That through life's ironies, you find the sweetest of what life has to offer.

That Karma is something you should never toy with unless you really want your life to be difficult. But then again, if it's a past life Karma, how would you know?

That the frustration you encounter makes you more determined than ever to not giving up. Unless you perished somewhat along the way.

That love is always not what you expected to be. But finding out it's something you've always wanted when you no longer have it.

That the simpler route is always the hard one. But yet we rather cheat and take the harder way to arrive at being simple.

That children play to learn and adults learn to play. (Courtesy of Nickelodeon channel. Heh heh...)

That when we were young, we can't wait to grow up. But when we're all grown up, we missed the carefree days gone by.

That things that are bad tasting might be good for you. But good tasting ones are always too good to be true.

That people remember you more for if you offend them than if you help them. Infamy is the better half of fame.

That I dont know what is it I'm writing about here. But I'm sure it has got to do with me not being able to sleep.

03:10 a.m.-- --

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

It's my life...

yeah, it's my life after all...

You are one of the few out there whose wings are
truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and
divine, you are one blessed with a certain
cosmic grace. You are unequalled in
peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of
Light your wings are massive and a soft white
or silver. Countless feathers grace them and
radiate the light within you for all the world
to see. You are a defender, protector, and
caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver
of the wrong, chances are you are taken
advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.
But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in
everyone and so this mistreatment does not make
you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will
try to help misguided souls find themselves and
peace. However not all Angelics allow
themselves to be gotten the better of - the
Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting
for the sake of Justice and protection of those
less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever
change - the world needs more people like you.

*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
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